Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.
-Suzy Eddie Izzard
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
-Franklin P. Jones
attentive pet care
for Perfect Little Monsters
Let’s just face it
We humans are screwed. We thought we were so clever, domesticating animals. They were a relatively reliable source of labor and/or food, and from there it was a short jump to keeping them for companionship. Before long, we were breeding them specifically for traits we deemed desirable, from agreeable temperaments, to specialized aesthetics, to sizes that could easily be kept in urban apartment buildings. Now, I can’t type this paragraph with two hands thanks to the Shih Tzu in my lap using my left arm as a headrest.
Our pets own us
And we wouldn’t have it any other way. They offer no less than pure, unconditional love. All they ask in return is food, shelter, housekeeping services, personal grooming, waste removal, undivided attention on demand, and lots and lots and LOTS of scritches.
But sometimes life intervenes
We humans are complicated. We have jobs, get overly busy, travel, and otherwise find ways to fail to live up to our pets’ expectations that we spend our every waking moment in devoted attendance to their whims. How dare we.
That’s when you need a Scritchin Bitch
For those times you just can’t be there for your most adoring fans, the lights of your life, those spoiled rotten wonderful freeloaders we call “pets”— I’ve got your back. Whether you’re off on a world tour or just too bogged down for a walk around the block, I will make sure your furry or otherwise non-human family members get the love and attention they’ve come to demand from their very own people. Because your pets are absolutely, undeniably, Perfect Little Monsters.
Scritchin Services
Serving Asheville- Central, North, East, West; North Buncombe County; Madison County; Haywood County
Check our Calendar for availability
DROP-IN SCRITCH
$30+
45+ minutes
food, water, meds
"business" in your yard (or litter scooping for monsters of the feline persuasion)
snuggles, scritchins, playtime
up to 3 pets
WALKIES
$25+
30+ minutes
food, water, meds
minimum 20-minute walk in your neighborhood
base price covers one doggo
additional pups $5 each (up to 4 depending on size and leash habits)
SCRITCH-OVER
$60+
overnight care in your home
food, water, meds
yard “business,” walkies, and/or litter scooping
snuggles, scritchins, playtime
mail retrieval, plant watering
up to 3 pets
Your fur-family’s safety and comfort is our utmost priority, and we are happy to customize services based on their unique requirements and preferences! Larger families or those with extra special needs may incur additional cost depending on the time required for care. We require a face-to-face consultation meeting (our “Initial Scritch”) for all new clients, so that we can assess and confirm our ability to meet your pets’ needs. Please use the form below to contact us with any questions, or fill out our Initial Scritch Form if you’re ready to meet in person!
